10 Reasons Why I Hate My Best Friend, and 5 Reasons Why I Love Her

You all know what i mean, right?

We all have that one friend that you can't decide whether you love her (or him), or hate her (or him).

Usually it balances out in the end, but for this "bestie" of mine, it definitely does not, and that's where i know to draw the line and say, "good riddance!" because as long as i hate her more than i love her, this friendship is one that is doomed to fail.

Now, if any of you remember my posts from a long, long time ago, about a girl i name "Mango," then that's her.

As a general premise, the two of us are a pair of dysfunctional "best friends."

I don't think we're really good friends, or even friends in general, but she dubs us "besties" and so i'll roll with it.

Why don't i think we're friends?

I'd argue that we're more like sisters. The first year i met her, we were like friends. We talked, we had fun, we enjoyed our time together.

After that, it all went downhill. She doesn't confide in me, we can't talk about the random, silly things that friends tend to talk about, and right now, i feel we're more like sisters that rely on each other instead of connect with each other.

It's been a fun (albeit extremist) ride, but i'll be glad to say goodbye and go my own way once the year fades away.

Without further ado, here are 10 reasons why i hate my bestie, and 5 reasons i love her.




1) She is a hypocrite 

one type of person i've always disliked was the hypocrite. i dislike how with her, there are lists upon lists of things that i'm not allowed to do, things that she won't support, things she'll get mad at me for doing, but once you turn around and it's her doing those things, one little comment from me and she'll bust into a "oh, don't be so sensitive!" mode.

a non-extreme example is how when she has nothing to do or doesn't want to do anything, she demands my full attention. computer? put it away. phone? put it away. food? put it away. i must, i absolutely must, have my entire attention on her. turn the dial, and if she's the one with the computer, the phone, the food, and i'm bored as all hell, she'll ignore me and all my needs. "come on, let's go eat. you can still surf the internet." "no! i don't want to!" she'll childishly exclaim back to me.



2) She has "Princess Syndrome"

or in other words, 公主病. perhaps my definition will not be the most accurate, but she is someone who believes that she deserves all the best, and will never be thankful for anything that she receives. i cannot count the number of times that she has taken me for granted. "write my essay." "call (so and so) for me." "bring this to my locker." sure, she says please and thank you, but is she really thankful? She's just glad to have someone that is compliant enough to deal with that sort of BS.

besides, whoever's heard of someone that cannot call another person by themselves, who cannot walk to their lockers, among a huge list of other things? she is not a princess, and i am not hired help. it wouldn't be half as bad if she did things for me also, but everytime she does me a favour, she insists for something in return. she claims, "you owe me." when everything i've done for her could exceed what she does for me, a thousand times over.

or how she will turn up her nose and command me to do things without being the least bit thankful. just today, i had to talk in her favour to a couple of girls who wanted to use the seminar room that we were in. she adamently stared at her computer while i made excuses for her. not even a 'thank you' in sight once i was done. just because you're in a bad mood doesn't mean that you can pass up your manners. you're not a princess. you don't live in a palace. this sort of behaviour is absolutely unacceptable and once i am done with her, i will never, ever, ever (Taylor Swift style, ever ever ever) be friends with someone like that, EVER AGAIN.



3) She is selfish

everything has to be about her. it's all about her. nobody can be higher or better than her. she's got to go first, be first, and be the most respected. if those merits are her own by her own hard work then i've got nothing to say. but she appears are better, best, the top, by pushing others down. or primarily, me, as to her i am simply her lapdog. i'm the one constantly by her side, and thus, the one she possibly compares herself most to.

i can straight out say, there's nothing to compare to. yet, time and time again, if i'm sad, she's definitely got to be sadder. if i'm angry, she's got to be more angry. if i'm hungry, she's got to be more hungry. if i'm happy, she's got to be happier. everything and everytime.

just awhile ago (this is also another mild case, as to not completely blow your mind), i was just rejected from a volunteer program that i wanted to be a part of. the wound is fresh in my heart. i tell her so, and her response is, "i got waitlisted for the program i wanted to be a part of!" and made a huge deal out of it for the rest of the day.

and not to mention the countless times she insists on borrowing my computer, my phone, to play stupid games like 2048 (okay, i enjoy it personally, but if she's going to be hoarding my computer's battery just to satisfy her need for it? nu-uh!) while in return she makes it a huge deal about how generous she is whenever i want to borrow hers. (or flat out refuses. "i need to keep it 100% charged! it's almost out of battery!" bullshit excuses like those).

corelated to this but not connected, is her use of whining to get what she wants. want my computer? "pleaaaaaaase!! pleaaaaaaaase!! pleeeeeeeeeeaaaassseeeeeee! just this once, i promise!" (well honey, you've said that line half a million times already. i'm not so trusting as to believe that this truly is "one last time"!) and if i ever refuse she stomps away, furious that i won't let her use MY electronics, and will give me the cold shoulder for the rest of the day, as if it is MY fault.

another example - i had a drama rehearsal with my team while we had a kindergarten buddy meeting. i tell her i'll be down in fifteen minutes. she keeps screaming, "NO!!!" and later switches tactics to, "You're so selfish!" (To which i respond, "why? how am i selfish? I'm selfish for being there for my team when they need me?") "well, you're not being there for me! that's selfish!" (how i was tempted to yell back, "then the selfish one is YOU!" but i held myself back. not to mention the repercussions if i don't show up for that class…! not that she gives a damn.)



4) The way she treats her boyfriends / ex-boyfriends 

i'm not expert on this subject. i have never been in a relationship before. so perhaps in a way, my view on having a boyfriend is very naive, and very childish. but what i do believe, and i hope to always believe, is that relationships are mutual, and that love is the most important thing. frankly, i don't believe in chivalry. i believe in being equals. which is why her treatment of her boyfriends or her attitude towards her ex-boyfriends, PISSES ME OFF.

her demand towards her boyfriends are entirely too much. she's materialistic. they do all sorts of nice things for her, but she never appreciates the things they do. flowers, chocolates, bears, she has them all, but while she says "thanks!" to them, she turns around and starts complaining to me.

it is especially her treatment of a recent ex-boyfriend that irks me the most. and by recent i mean SEVERAL MONTHS. truth is, people fall out of love. (truth is, sometimes people can't put up with your bullshittery?) truth is, everyone ends up getting a new significant other.

and even now, several months later, she is still whining about the same ex-boyfriend. she was the one who suggested that they break up. he took it in stride, going on his merry way without kicking up a fuss. he finds a new girlfriend, one that i don't know personally. but from what i hear, she appears to be a very sweet person, and he loves her. now, Mango is constantly whining about him, in his finding a new girlfriend, in the things she does. she claims that he is rubbing his new love in her face.

and she said to me, and i quote, "i don't love him anymore, but it bothers me." ("what do you want? to get back together with him?) "no, i don't. i don't love him. i just want him to love me." ("so, what's the issue here?") "i want to ruin his life! I want him to always be unhappy because he can't have me!" (like, whoaa girl, rein in your horses. sure, it's natural to feel bitter about break ups, but if you truly loved someone, you'd wish for their happiness right? besides, it was YOUR idea to break up. i'm sure that the poor boy would still be with you if you hadn't suggested such a thing.



5) Denial

i'm all for admitting one's flaws. we're all flawed. that's what makes us human, and that's what allows us to move forth in life, and become out best self. that's why i hate denial. i won't deny the fact that sometimes i'm in denial too, but she really takes it to an extreme. she'll deny the things that i remember her saying, her doing, and even my feelings. how can she deny that? how can i tell her, "you made me feel upset. frustrated." and have her say, "no, that's not true. no you don't." ?

in her memory, she is always the one that is wronged, and not the one that has done something wrong. she'll deny everything, even things that she herself said. "it's a joke," she'll say, "I didn't mean that," she'll say.

another example - once we were sharing a hotel room during a conference, and she told me she was sorry. that she's been aggressive lately. that she hopes that i won't hold it against her. that she doesn't understand why she's aggressive but she is. time-skip a few days, we're sitting in class and i'm pissed off because she does her "pleeeeease! pleaaaase! pleaaaaase!" to play a game of 2048 on my computer, so i'm sitting there all moody. (I even told her that i would get her computer from her locker for her, but she made some bullshit excuse about not wanting her computer in that room).

then she says, "i feel as though there is tension between us." (like, DUH! i'd be a saint if i weren't pissed with you and your cruddy attitude. not that i'd admit that to her face, but, it's true). and i tell her, "well, that's because you've been aggressive lately. and i'm naturally quite passive aggressive. and that doesn't fit well together." and she instantly springs on the defense and says, "since when am i aggressive? huh? huh?! give me an example!" "uh… well, you were the one who said so…" "THAT'S A JOKE!! don't you understand what a joke is?!" (the conversation goes onto me saying, "fine, i'm just tired and confused then." and she yells, "WELL I'M MORE TIRED AND CONFUSED THAN YOU ARE."

the denial thing has to be one of the things that i dislike the most about her. i revel in flaws. i love flaws. it's not my "good points" that make me special, it's my "bad points." if she'd not deny things, if she'd admit them, i'd have a lot more respect for her.



6) Her hate for kids 

i love kids. i cannot stress that enough. I LOVE KIDS. i find them adorable. even though there are brats out there that i can't deal well with, i still love kids. i have 4 younger cousins and even when they piss me off, i adore them, i love them to pieces. and maybe it's the fact that i have little cousins that i love, that i am unable to stomach her attitude towards kids.

for her, it's all about appearance. it's not beyond her to comment, "look, look at that. if that were my kid, i'd starve her. i'd hate for my kid to look like that."(if i give her an incredulous look, she'll demand, "what, wouldn't you?! do you WANT a fat kid?!" like, no, i wouldn't explicitely wish for a fat kid, but if s/he were fat, i wouldn't give a crap! that'd be my kid, and i love her the way she was!) or our kindergarten buddy, on the other hand. i find the kid absolutely adorable. sure, she's bratty sometimes, but she's just the sweetest little thing, whereas she is constantly bashing on a frikkin' FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD. "i hate her," "she's ugly," "she's noisy," "she doesn't speak," "i just hate her so much!" things like that.

once we were making a card for the little cutie pie. for christmas. Mango explicitely tells me to draw an ugly picture for her, and to draw thieves stealing her presents. another time, she pouts for an hour straight because the kid wouldn't give her the glue cap.

the child's five. she's adorable. and Mango has the nerve to constantly bash on her. i find her hate for children unnatural. it's one thing to dislike kids as a general, but i don't think that anybody in their right mind would constantly and openly make such cruel remarks about a child.



7) Pointing fingers 

one of the things that makes me lose respect for someone the most is when they point fingers. throw blame around. put others under the bus. and she is one that is an expert at this. it's never HER fault, of COURSE not. she's the princess, how can it POSSIBLY be her fault?

i think that if it comes down to it, the best thing to do is to admit that you make a mistake, learn from it, and move on. there's no need to blame others for your failures, for your mistakes. the way she always shifts things around is infuriating. it ties into being hyprocritical as well. if i forget something she'll never let me live it down. if she forgets, she'll get mad at me for remembering it in the first place.

she's even attempted to pin the blame on me for a class i'm not even in before. apparantly it illicted a laugh from the class, and i do find it hilarious that she'd even go that far to try blaming me in a class i don't take, but at the end of the day, the deal is that she cannot accept that she did something wrong, and has to throw me under the bus.

or how many times she's accused me, shifted the blame to me. it's all MY fault in her world. everything is MY fault. if something goes wrong, it's because of ME.



8) The inability to talk 

What's the use in a friend that you can't talk to? one of the major components that makes me resent her is the ability to talk. i cannot bring up a random subject because she won't accept it. she'll turn up her nose. she'll smirk. she'll call me stupid. we can never talk about something i want to talk about. we talk about what SHE wants to talk about, or she just ignores me completely.

What's the use in that? I don't want to constantly be the one listening. I want to have my opinion heard once in awhile too. And whenever we're together and with others and i speak out, or if i am having my voice her, she is usually eager to drag me away or to oppose my words.

or whenever we are sitting together, or i say good morning. we don't talk. it's a simple nod. i despise that. especially if she's in a bad mood, then she'll not talk at all. she'll pout and sulk the entire day.

also inc corelation but not directly related? She loves making weird sounds and swatting me, for no apparant reason. "Nnnnghh!!" and then a quick slap on the arm. like sure, that doesn't seem to make you look stupid at all. Or how she constantly yells "WAIT FOR ME!!" while giving me an ugly, strict face, even though i haven't moved at all. Tourettes much?

again in corelation but not directly related - she constantly yells at me for using my "kiddy voice" to talk to our kindergarten buddy. (higher pitched, sweeter, the baby voice), while whenever she calls her mom or talks to her online friends, she uses this sickeningly sweet, bubblegum-Asian, Japanese-idol-group voice that sends shivers up my spine. What, i can't do it but she can? Geez.



9) She's racist and homophobic 

in a way i suppose that if it is her own choice that i have nothing i can say for it. but i do not believe that race of sexual preference can possibly make anyone "lesser than." ultimately, we're all human. we all have hopes and dreams and fears and regrets. how can she possibly judge someone based on their skin or on their sexual preference? what does it matter if a person is black, brown, yellow, white, or anything in between? what does it matter if a guy likes a guy, or if a girl likes a girl, or if a guy feels like a girl, or vice versa? are we not all human?

i wouldn't be as offended by this if she didn't explicitely state it. i wouldn't feel so bad if other people actually AGREE with her. maybe it's a cultural thing, i wouldn't know. for me, i do know i have a lot of prejudices as a result of what my family believes in, or is against. but that doesn't stop me from at least treating them as humans. i try not to badmouth them behind their back. (okay, i admit, sometimes i do, but that's a whole other blog entry in itself).

what i remember the most is an issue about Japan. it particularily stuck by me because i love Japan. (yes, yes, refer to the weeaboo post). it's one thing if she insults me personally, but it's another if she brings my family into it. or their background. whatever.

i remember she was yelling "ri! ri! ri!" (日) in Mandarin (in regards to her ex) and when i asked her about it, she said it was a bad word. And then she said, "it's a bad word because it's part of 日本!" (Japan). i can say that i was beyond shocked. not just because i love Japan, not just because i have extended family members who are Japanese, but simply because of the ignorance that this sentence evokes. as though there is something WRONG with another nation. no. simply NO.

sure, we can bring culture into things. maybe it's the way she was taught. but just because we are taught a certain way doesn't mean we ought to blindly accept it. shouldn't we question the validity of the things we are taught? question the motives, the deliverer?

and what about her blatant homophobia? what's wrong with loving the same gender? love is blind, is it not? shouldn't you love somebody for their personality, for who they are, rather than their genitals?


10) She has no drive, no passions. among many more. 

ten things honestly is not enough to sum up all the things that i resent about her. we've done "friendship therapy" before - listing things we liked and disliked about each other. she had a list of at least 40 things i hated about her. but i think these 10 things emcompass most aspects that i dislike.

and this tenth one is a little bit of a preference. but it irks me that she has no true desires from life, no true passion. if that is so, then aren't you just existing, and not really living at all? This is just preference, of course.

but i believe that it is crucial to have passions in life. to have hopes and dreams. if we walk in the same rut day after day, then where do we find ourselves? shouldn't we at least try to claw our way out of that mundane life? even just a tiny spark of passion is enough. whether it be shopping, gaming, writing, designing - anything works, as long as its something.






1) Hard-Working 

while she denies being hard working ("oh, i NEVER study!", among other phrases) i can see that she actually is a hard worker that cares about her studies. i find this very admirable. to be able to sit down and concentrate on such a boring thing, and come up with such elaborate lab reports and what not, i find that very, very admirable indeed.

i love people that work hard. i love it when people give it their all, give it their best, and put their heart into doing something. it's something that dazzles me every time.

no matter how much she denies it, this is a trait that i definitely admire. if only i could be as hard working as she is, i'm sure i would be able to make everyone proud. (and finish things that i start).


2)  Cleverness 

i'm not sure if this is her or me, but i find it clever that she somehow has the ability to balance love and hate with me. she'll piss me off and piss me off but then turn a switch and make her love her by acting all sweet and caring and having a meaningful conversation.

if this is her doing (as opposed to me simply forgetting) then i admire the cleverness that it takes. i wouldn't be able to do that. i wouldn't be able to play the puppet strings in the way that she does.


3) Her Persistance 

yeah, it gets annoying when her persistance is "pleeeeeease! pleeeeeease! pleeeeeeease! last time i promiseeeeee!" but in a way, it really is admirable. to care so little about how ridiculous it makes you sound, to constantly repeat the same things, again and again, without fail, until you get the outcome you want.

that's pretty cool in itself, isn't it? "fake it till you make it", after all!


4) Mutliple Personalities 

i guess we're all chameleons. we act certain way around certain people and then not in front of others. but i find that she's a master chameleon. she has so many faces and standards that it's impossible to keep track of them all. that'd be a trait i'd love to be able to imitate.


5) Her Prettiness 

yes, that's right. this lovely not so lovely friend of mine, is a pretty girl. That's one thing i'll always be envious of, that's how pretty she is. she's pretty and she knows it.

i wish i were, too.





Bonus: Why I Don't Leave Her 

it's beacuse i'm weak. i don't know how.

i'm scared that if i rock the boat before the year ends naturally, that i'll end up friendless, or worse. (she does have video footage of me acting like an idiot). i'm scared of her.

i don't like rejection.

im scared of her power, of how she is able to stay on my mind so long after we have parted ways.

frankly, i'm terrified of her.

which is probably why she plays me like a puppet on a string. probably why she's so incredibly over-controlling with me. (and when i say over-controlling, i do damn right mean over-controlling! she'll even go as far as to tell me what i can and cannot eat, when we used to go to McDonalds for lunch…! "no ice cream for you!"








Well, i guess that's that.

There's so much more going on these days, with Mango.

I hope this list helps you, as the reader, to identify the bad friends in your life. and to realise that you can't keep 'em all.

sometimes, it's just time to let go.

and trust me, it'll make your life a thousand times better once you do.




Ganbatte ne~!

<3





~Rena~~

The Ups and Downs of an Average High Schooler

High school's weird.

I think we can all admit that.

While i think my high school experience has been extremely weird, tiring, frustrating, confusing as all heck, i still had a pretty okay time and have created some of the best memories that i will cherish till the end of all time. 

With only two months left until i leave this school for good, I started thinking back about experiences that i've had since starting here, almost three years ago. 

It's almost sad to think, that in a few short months, i won't be having these silly, naive, high-school thoughts anymore; i will be having silly, naive, university thoughts instead. 

It's not that i want high school to last forever, since i don't. but it's still sad that these happy moments are ending soon, and that we are all going our separate ways thereafter.

(Although if the school will stop being so cheap and give us some decent food and furniture, i might reconsider my statement of "i can't wait to graduate!") 

Without further ado, here are some of the sillier situations and flawed logic of today's generation of high schoolers! 

DISCLAIMER: this is not all inclusive and i can't speak for ALL high school students. these are just things i've seen our students stress over, or have stressed over myself.

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GRADE 8

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* somehow i was THAT KID who never used a locker so i always wound up carrying my backpack around and holding a jacket on top of it all, since i was so stupid that i couldn't figure out what locker was mine. 

* grade 8 camp! i remember feeling cold and awful throughout the whole thing. and i had to share a room with 6 or 8 girls. (can't remember which). and we had to sleep in bunk beds! the heck? 0.0 oh yeah, and the washrooms were communal! EVEN MORE WTF! the only good thing was the endless supply of fries during mealtimes. 

* once, i had (whispers) GIRL ISSUES during class and i had to have my buddies make excuses and make a racket so i could escape from class without being seen. 

* feeling frustrated with my classmates (somehow i wound up in a tiny humanities class) for not having the basic abilities to spell properly. (can't say i'm the best speller in the world, but… if you're having trouble with four letter words then i have some bad news for ya…) 

* failed science 

* getting 100% on a project that i completely BS'd. (docked marks for handing it in late) 

CONCLUSION: grade 8 was a pretty standard, boring year. It's my first year in high school, and my first time attending a neighbourhood school, at that. I had a pretty rough time adjusting to it. i guess in a way i can say i'm not used to being forced to study. the one memory that stuck with me the most is grade 8 camp because it made me feel miserable. i couldn't help but to feel nostalgia because we used to go camping every year in grade school, except it was usually 4 to a room, we had a balcony, a view, personal bathroom, fluffy beds, dimmable lights, sofas, TV's, and all that good stuff. except we didn't get to eat fries. we had jacket potatoes. … i think fries are better. 

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GRADE 9

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* made my own niche of friends for the first time, and often stayed after school to just chat with them. 

* childishly cycled through about 5 different phones in half a year since i kept dropping and breaking them. but after that i consistantly took good care of them and have only changed phones 3 times in the last 3 years. 

* nearly failed art (how is that even possible…?)

* had a crush on a few 'badboiz' and somehow made it TOTALLY obvious.

* lost a diary at school that was found, read, and then returned to me. the boy that i talked about liking in my diary approached me just to act all stuck up about it, as if it was some big deal that i liked him. (for the matter i only liked him because he was a 'badboi' and did recreational drugs and was all swaggy and stuff. yeah i do still like that sort of boy, mostly because i am most attracted to boys that contrast me the most) 

* sassed my PE teachers. // "So what if i sit down? I'm tired, so shouldn't i get to sit? It's my body! If you don't like it, complain to my parents!" 

* wormed my way out of a detention (it was for being late. well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me for being human and making mistakes and needing more sleep sometimes…) 

CONCLUSION: grade 9 was definitely better than grade 8 and more interesting, especially with cuter boys to crush on! It was great to have my own group of friends, even though it meant that i had more enemies as well. i transferred schools at the end of grade 9. 

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GRADE 10 

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* Duke of Edinburgh trip to the USA! Involved a lot of tiresome hiking and needing to (gasp) live in a tent! 

• Being unable to undo the tent, dragging it across the field, asking if we can just leave it there and buy the school a new one, or burn it. got refused and was forced to undo it and carry it anyway

• Friend claiming that her feather jacket is waterproof "BECAUSE I STOOD UNDER A SHOWER AND I DIDN'T GET SOAKED." yeah, sure, and that's why you got soaked after 5 minutes in the rain and the teacher had to give you a rainjacket…? 

• Being too scared to light our stove, so we decided to just eat a cold dinner and sleep. but the supervisor forced us to get out and eat a hot dinner. and made me do jumping jacks because i couldn't stop shivering. 

* A Project Discover trip to a marine research facility! 

• was not as miserable as gr8 camp. yes, we had bunk beds, AGAIN. but it was 4 to a room this time and while the showers weren't in our room, at least they are individual rooms in the bathroom hallway. 

• froze to death boating because it was raining 

• took a forest hike but it was muddy and cold and my boots were too small and i nearly slipped and fell flat on my face 

• but the food was DELICIOUS! it was legit, not like camp food, more like grade school camp food. rice and pasta and scones and bacon and hash browns and muffins and soup and fruits and stuff like that! yum~ <3 

• went on two cave tours! cool! although i nearly slipped off the edge inside a cliff once, but a dude grabbed me before i fell into the dark abyss. twice. #clumsy

* moved to a new school! (the old school was like, a rented inn or something. a new school was built and i guess i transferred at the perfect time because we moved in after a superlong winter break! 

* bought my first laptop computer! Because apparntly the school "required" it. Or maybe i just made that up. I can't particularily remember anymore, heehee~ ^_^

* a language trip to France and Spain! I was part of the France group. It was the only reason i suffered through French class. (although, a second language was a requirement so it isn't as if i could have refused. although i took both Spanish and French as a kid, i don't believe i have an affinity for languages and neither stuck. Also i learned Latin. that stuck even less.) 

• First trip abroad without parents! Although in attempting to catch our connecting flight we had to run through the airport waving our arms wildly like a bunch of chickens.

• "NOOOO MY HOMESTAY DOESN'T SPEAK EVEN ESL LEVEL ENGLISH MY LIFE IS ENDING"

• Set off a fire alarm in Paris by accident because i didn't know i had to close the door when showering. (didn't know there was a smoke detector thing, and i was too scared to be in an enclosed space by myself). had to run downstairs in a towel… 

• "I WANNA SHOP ON CHAMPS ELYSEES FOR THE ENTIRE DAY!" "NO!!! I WANT TO GO TO ARC DU TRIOMPHE!!!" "NO!! THAT'S STUPID! I DON'T WANT TO!!" "YES!! I INSIST!! RIGHT NOW!" //real conversation with my buddy 

• visited the original Louis Vuitton shop. 

• Played badminton 

• Paris Disneyland! 

* Had a  PE unit consisting of volleyball. on the beach. #sand in my shoes 

*  Believed i could get into Harvard. //Newsflash, just because the neighbour's kid got in doesn't automatically mean that you can, too. 

* Nearly failed French. 

* Math teacher got so fed up with me and my inability to do math that he got me a private tutor to teach me in a seminar room instead of having me in class. (she was a MUCH better teacher, by far) 

CONCLUSION: grade 10 was a blissful, happy year full of new experiences, new friends, and a new life. there were a lot of silly moments and yes, we were just a bunch of naive high schoolers who dreamed dreams and believed in themselves. 

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GRADE 11

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* All hell broke loose when i was separated from my best buddy for just about all my classes. 

* Had to retake my French 10 final test, but was able to opt out of taking a language because my Mum talked to the Headmaster for me. 

* China Global Trip 

• I didn't go because apparntly the air pollution is bad for me. Me and Mum took our own little trip during winter holidays to make up for that. 

• Kids that didn't go Global got the oppertunity to go visit local attractions, courtesty of the school. ^_^ 

* Best buddy became worst enemy. 

* Was a fairy in "midsummer night's dream" for a school production. 

• got to blow bubbles and wear a cute, lacy dress! 

• had a crush on Puck. ;D … As did pretty much every other girl in the play. 

* Tutored a 2nd grade. 

• she once kicked my phone down the hallway for reasons unknown… 

* had a LOT of spare blocks (often together), so i'd sleep in the quiet area. (since there are couches there and there is a no talking rule) 

* "WHY IS THE SOCIALS' ROOM THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T HAVE A CEILING MOUNTED PROJECTER. IT'S NOT FAAAAAAAIR!!!!" - Everybody. (except me. I don't really care whether the projector is mounted on a ceiling or put on the table. Honestly. What does it matter?) 

* Became so used to automated everything in the washroom that i forget to turn the tap off when i'm not at school, or stand there waiting for it to turn on by itself, when i'm not at school. (and yes, people stop and stare as if i've gone batty) 

* Did a speech on "why school is unimportant and is not actually preparing us for the future". got a lot of praise on it, and did not win merely because i looked as if i was about to faint the entire time. (I was. i hate public speaking) 

* teachers tried to join a union and it caused a huge controversy in the school. resulted in several teachers being fired and/or resigning. parents caused a huge uproar over the issue. i can't remember any of it because me and my family just didn't really care. Let them do as they please! 

* some boy broke his leg during school hours, on a skateboard. 

* everyone hid when a teacher left the room.

* Accidently dropped my buddy's phone down 3 stories of stairs and it completely shattered. somehow, she was not at all pissed at me, just a little shocked. it was instareplaced, and her only comment was, "dude, stop apologising. it's okay. we're among friends, aren't we? so its okay."

• i would've understood the nonchalance better if it was some old school or crappy phone but it was a flipping new iPhone. I really gotta commend her on her calmness in that situation. I think i would've started crying.

CONCLUSION: boring year, but at the same time, daily life was okay and not too bad. the most major part was a fall out with a former friend. yeah, we continued being besties, but i resented her secretly. this was more of a year of politics than anything else. 

---------------------------------

GRADE 12

---------------------------------

* School issued email accounts to the students so we can receive notes instead of needing to type them. 

* nobody can agree on what we need to do for grad.

*Grad retreat! 

• Friend - *tries to microwave a ready made chicken*
• Friend - *tries to microwave a bottle of milk* 

• "32$ budget per person! remember you are staying overnight!" *buys junk food, pies, and basically a feast. since we had 5 to a room = 160$ budget* 

• Zip-lining! Superfun but also very scary! gorgeous scenery by the way 

* Gala plate option sells for over 1500$. Yes, because a 6$ plate that all the grads sign suddenly means that it is worth over 1.5k. what, did we sign our names in gold? #WTFlogic

* Had a relatively clean and cutely decorated locker for once in my life. 

* Attended several Model UN conferences. Hotels are supposedly "really good" but i can't help feeling as if they are haunted because the hallways are not light enough.

• // made a mess and called in the maid to clean it. literally. called the front desk to say, "can you send someone up to clean up?" and running out of the room because no one wants to admit being the one tacky enough to ask such a question. 

• stacked cups and ate mints and didn't pay attention during the conference. 

• bought a lot of Happy Meals to collect all the tiny stuffed bears. (yes we did end up getting them all) 

* Received an award and an assembly, but it just so happened i forgot to wear shoes during the assembly. // went up with only socks on 

* "WE DON'T WANT TO GO TO EUROPE WE WANNA GO TO CUBA!! WHY WON'T THE SCHOOL APPROVE IT!!!! WAAAAAAAAAA!!! I DONT CARE IF THE EUROPE TRIP IS A LONGSTANDING TRADITION!!!" - brats. 

* Parent offers to pay 4k for a party hall for the grad afterparty but somehow still cannot placate all the students because "WE WANNA HAVE IT IN A HOUSE!! WAAA!! OUR LIVES ARE OVER!!!" 

• Also apparantly all the parents insist on having security and a team of medicare staff there. … well, okay… if you really don't trust us, even for just one night… 

* Socials' room finally got a ceiling mounted projector. 

* New Chromebooks and Macbooks for the students! <3 

* New Microwave! Fridge and Oven installed and open for regular student use for the first time! 

• ice cream, cake, and condiments are staples in the fridge. cups and silverware and provided. so are kettles and coffee machines. well, okay… if you wanna spoil the students THAT much… whew, i wonder how everyone'll survive in university…  

* "sleeping area" moved downstairs into the main library because too many people abuse the right and just sit there and talk when people are trying to sleep or study. 

* rules slacken; nail polish now allowed. 

* bleachers become automated 

* "well, since SHE has a headache and left, HE has a headache, SHE is asleep, SHE is almost asleep, HE isn't paying attention, and SHE is stressed as all hell… let's just take a break and sleep for this class." - History teacher. *everyone is given a sweet and a pat on the back* 

* "this is RIDICULOUS! since spring break, HALF of you are late, and the OTHER HALF don't show up at all! this is unacceptable behaviour!" - Headmaster (yes, truly, that is ridiculous…)

* Began keeping a blanket in my locker so i can nap a little if i have a free block. 

* "it's cold in here…" "why don't we turn the thermostat up?" "yeah, good idea!" *turns it up to 24 degrees* - Me and my buddy (yes, because leaving every room's thermostat within easy reach of the students is SUCH a good idea. not) 

* "THE FURNITURE SUCKS WE NEED NEW ONES" - ??? 

~COMING UP~ 

* 1 week long biking trip 

* grad ball/commencement/events

* AP exams

* Maylong grad retreat? 

CONCLUSION: it's been great fun so far, even if the students become more and more outrageous every year. the things i wrote aren't even the half of it. the comments i hear on a daily basis feel normal to me, until i really think about it, then i realise just how silly and self riteous they sound. but it's been a fabulous (albeit stressful and frustrating) year! 

I feel as though i've been in and out of this sort of rut so much that i forget what high schools truly are like. 

Is every high school like this?

I don't know. Maybe, maybe not.

But at my old school, we had old desks that are starting to come apart, cracked plastic chairs, minimal heating and cooling, a canteen if you wanted food, an old timey projector where you write on a plastic sheet and put it onto a lighted surface for projection, and the lockers are tiny. (whereas here, i can literally stand comfortably inside my locker). 

thinking back, "that life" and "this life" is just so drastically different. 

Either way, it's been a great great ride and high school, while not my golden years, are definitely the providers of some of my most cherished and amusing memories. 

**NOTE**

this entry was originally written for extended family members that otherwise do not have the ability to know about me or my school life, and therefore some points may seem too personal. 

Hope ya'll are having a good, fun, high school life. :) 

~Rena~ 

Broke My Computer ;(

What luck! (yes, that was sarcasm).

My computer threw a tantrum and broke down the other day, and thankfully i got to be back online within 24 hours, or i would've died! (yes, exaggeration. kids these days!)

Well, as for what happened i'm not entirely sure, it could be a combination of things. I know i've dropped it on multiple occasions, spilt water on it, and so on so forth, but finally, one day, i was informed that the battery was on "service battery" mode and i had to take it to the Apple Store to get it fixed.

So that's what i did, straight after school.

Got an appointment, and it turned out far worse than i originally assumed.

My battery was broken, my charger was broken, and even the SCREEN was broken. I don't remember breaking my screen!

They suggested me bringing it in on the weekend as to not interfere with school but i need to study during the weekend (besides, the weekend's always the perfect time to procrastinate and watch movies!) so i refused and gave it in that day.

The kind "Genius" promised it would be finished by the following morning, so we were on our way after that.

The following day i was lucky enough to have two tests and an assembly, as well as a kindergarten buddy meeting during the blocks that i had, so i had no time to sulk and feel bored as due to the lack of a useable computer. (I did borrow a Chromebook from the school, though, so it isn't as though i'd actually DIE)

During the time i was parted from my baby, i thought about all the times that i've had it; we've been together for 2.5 years! I first got it upon my entry into a new school, and just as well, too.

Everybody had one, notes were emailed to us during class for viewing, presentations were done via Prezi or Powerpoint, and so on so forth.

Anyway, i got my computer back last night, and it's all shiny and sleek and the lid, which was dented before, is now good as new! I miss the cute stickers i put on it but it is what it is. :D

Can't wait for August, for the back to school electronics sale~ Will be getting a new laptop for university. i will definitely take more care of it, as i am more mature now and i don't think i'll be dropping it on the ground or spilling water on it anymore!

I'm not a kid anymore, so i definitely won't hurt my electronics in kiddish ways anymore :D





~Re~

I Still Want To Be British… Also, Procrastination

I'm really cutting it close this time with my assignment that is due tomorrow and if i don't finish i most likely won't be able to graduate.

So what am i still doing up at this hour, trying to cram everything down? Not to mention the Biology test tomorrow… (except as it is not part of my average when applying to universities, i don't particularily give a damn about it) 

the thing about procrastination, i find, is that often you decide that you can do things last minute, but even when it IS late minute, you somehow wind up finding a reason not to do it at all.

For me, it was originally, "I'll do my Biology today after school because tomorrow is the test." 

This evolved from, "I'll do this during the weekend because Tuesday is the test."

And is now, "I'll borrow someone else's notes tomorrow before the test."

Which no doubt will somehow turn into, "I don't care about this test." 

WHICH IS NOT GOOD AT ALL.

Same goes for my Literature homework which was due a long time ago. I promised myself i'd do it, again and again, yet i have failed to do so each time.

I hope i can hand it in before Good Friday though.

Otherwise, i think i might be in a bit of a rut.

Aside from my obvious procrastination (why else would i write a blog entry that is seemingly about nothing? the only reason is because i don't want to work yet!) , i am still dreaming of the British accent, the Union Jack, of tea, of the Queen.

I guess the grass is always greener, huh ! 

My Mum says that if i crave a taste of Great Britain so bad, then i ought to just move there and do my master's degree, four years from now.

I say, "no." 

I'm not interested in education.

I can do that on my own, without tests and pressure and homework.

I've done enough homework to last a lifetime, to be honest! 

(deep sigh)

if only here were Britain. then i'd be soooooo happy.

If only here were anything even remotely like Britain. I'd still be soooooooo happy.

But it's 'murica here, man… so no tea, Queens, or cute flags. :/ 

I mean, i'm happy with what i've got.

but i can't help but to think, "wouldn't that be fabulous?"

I do often wonder, though, between here and there, what's the biggest difference, aside from the slang and the accent? 

Just how different is the culture, the government, the people?

I mean, the Queen's still the head of state here, right now, but i sure can't have tea with her. (shame, really. what a dream it would be to have tea with the Queen!)

(whoopsy daisy ! seems i've procrastinated a bit too much. quickly ! back to the homework! i'll see ya later~ ) 

~reRe~

First Time Doing…?

Normally i wouldn't double post but it came to mind that i experienced quite a few "firsts" this spring, and i would be inclined to share them all with you!

Naturally, experiencing "firsts" are an exciting privilege and in ways it is like a rite of passage into being a young adult, as i am normally very childish normally.

I still am, but maybe, just maybe, i am a tiny bit more refined now than i was prior to spring break.

Let's get started!


------------------------------------------------
First Time Travelling Without Parents
------------------------------------------------

Well, technically it wasn't my FIRST time travelling without my mum or dad. i did go to France by myself before. (uhm… well, technically not solo, but without family).

but this was the first time going to ASIA without my parents, and that makes all the difference!




------------------------
First Earrings
------------------------

Getting one's ears pierced is a rite of passage for many young girls, as it is me. I don't think that it makes me look any more mature to decorate my ears with sparkly earrings, but it's the very act of being able to do so, that makes this first so important.

yes, there was a lot of unrefined screaming involved, but at the same time, they're done, they're a first, and it's also my rite of passage.

unfortunately now i have holes in my ears and i'm not sure what to think of that, and my mum looks critically upon any earrings that i would like to have.

"no, don't use plastic. no, don't use that. no, that's not good."
"what about medical steel then? these are medical titanium. they are convinient."
"no, i think you should use gold."
"…but i want sparkly earrings."
"…then why don't we get some diamonds."
"mom, we're not talking about the stones, we're talking about the posts!"
"oh. right."
"i think i'll just keep these in and figure everything else later."
"alright. you do that."

so, yeah.

I was hoping to change them in time for graduation, thus, another first, but… i guess some things can wait. I think i'm too terrified of taking them off anyway, so i might be stuck with blue sparkly earrings for the rest of my life, ahah~




---------------------------------
First Touch Screen Phone
--------------------------------

Okay, technically not my "first" touch-screen phone. I did have an iPhone knock-off before, which is touch screen, and a Blackberry with a touch screen. I've been wanting to get a new phone for a long time now, but it was constantly being put off because phones are expensive, i'm a kid, i don't need a phone, et al, et al, et al.

So finally i got a new phone - a Samsung Galaxy Note III.

It's gorgeous! It's the white one with the dark gold lining. I wanted a pink one originally because it's so cute and girly but i like mine more now, because it's sophisticated, easy to match with any shells, and it's insanely adorable while being utterly refined.

Although this first was a reward for getting into a good university, it wasn't all smiles and joys.

i HATE spending money.

I nearly threw up when my grandma took out a wad of cash to pay for my baby. (yes, my phone is my baby. as is all my other electronics. deal with it).

i have never felt so guilty in my life before.

this was a first i tried to back out of originally, but even though the guilt still lingers today, i am so very happy that i got the chance to get my cutedorable phone.

though i think using a credit card would have made me feel better. because then you don't physically see the money. and i wouldn't feel so pained for imposing my wishes upon my family.

i mean, we're hard pressed for money nowadays anyway.

the economy here is terrible.

(but i promise once i make my first gazillion dollars, and yes, it will happen, i will pay back my family for all the hardships i put them through!)



---------------------------------------
First  Travel BY MYSELF
---------------------------------------

I travelled by bullet train by myself this spring. I also went back to Canada by myself this spring.

BY MY FLIPPING SELF.

my dependant, idiotic, overly reliant, naive, silly little self.

now THAT, is a rite of passage. :)








~Re

10 Things i Learned About Taiwan :D

I love Taiwan.

Really, i do. Absolutely. 

sure, being that i admitted to being a 'weeaboo', you'd think that my favourite country is Japan and that everywhere else sucks, but while yes, i love Japan and i put him on a pedestal, i also love Taiwan very, very much.

Therefore, after spending 2 weeks in Taiwan this spring, these are the 10 things i learned about Taiwan. 

1) The Weather is REALLY humid. Which, on a hot day can be excrutiating, but when it's warm or cold out, it's REALLY good for the skin. soft and supple skin, all day, every day, without lotion <3

2) 7-11 (and other convinience stores) are everywhere and has everything. Like, EVERYTHING.

3) most stores seem to have a threshold (one level higher than ground level). so if you're like me, you'll faceplant a few times. … in front of everybody.

4) Night markets are the best for bright lights, good food, and cheap, adorable goods.

5) Department stores (generally, SOGO and Shin Kong Mitsukoshi, respectively) are TALL instead of WIDE like in the Western world. and everything grouped neatly so you don't wander in circles. Also, the food courts are UH-MAZING.

6) You see mopeds everywhere. EVERYWHERE. but they're superfun to ride. :)

7) officers will squish you into the metro and if you have a stop coming up, you had best head over to the door RIGHT NOW, or you won't be getting out on time.

8) Old people use Japanese words to refer to family members. (at least from what i observed)

9) School uniforms seem to either be brightly coloured tracksuits, or a sailor-esque shirt and skirt, which is awesome. either comfy or adorable, neither of which mine is. 0.0

10) It's a friendly, welcoming nation with freedom of speech and expression. I definitely want to go back one day. It's one of the most beautiful places i've ever been in my life. <3



well, that's about it then! :D


hope that was … informitive… and that you enjoyed it ^_^

i'll be updating regularily from now on, on Mondays and Thursdays. :)

(I quit gymnastics by the way) :/




~Rena~